The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise

Greetings! Tom, Calvin and Paul take on another Italian sci-fi masterpiece...well, it is a piece, for sure. The film is 1979's "Star Odyssey," originally released as "Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio," or "Seven Golden Men in Space," which really has nothing to do with the plot, if that's what we can call it. This is a cheap Star Wars ripoff, and the exploitation for profit is so heavy that one video release is called "Metallica." Basically, Earth is under attack by a bad guy with a bunch of evil robots who want to enslave mankind, but this ragtag group from Earth, especially our hero, Hollywood, are going to do what they can to stop him. Of course, the subplot that will cut through everything is the love story of two robots on the side defending our planet. Worry not, they will not consummate their love on-screen, and they even explain why. Obviously, the boys have commentary you don't want to miss, so enjoy the show, if you dare.

This is a dilly of an episode. The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are joined by our first guest ever on the pod, our friend Ronnie Kroepfl on a very special Charming Noise. She's Tom's wife and a longtime Bad Movie Night aficionado, so it's a treat to have her on. This is a double episode because we have plenty to talk about. We review and fan out over one of our favorite movies of all time, the 1970 Al Adamson classic "Horror of the Blood Monsters." The boys have always referred to it by the name "Vampire Cavemen of the Lost Planet" because we first saw it on USA Network under that name. Don't worry if you don't know it, because there are about a dozen more names used in various releases. This has everything a bad movie needs, including John Carradine and footage borrowed from a Filipino caveman monster movie. Need I say more? 

Remember, you can subscribe to our show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and YouTube. Also, check out our website at https://turkishdiplomats.com/. 

Never fear, as Tom, Calvin, and Paul, a.k.a. The Turkish Diplomats, have returned to mess up your world with a new episode. Today, we talk about "Star Pilot," an Italian production from 1966. This has everything the boys love, which means it's an enjoyably bad movie. We are noting some patterns with Italian sci-fi this season, including the fact that once one of our representative astronauts lays a little earth sugar on an alien, hostilities are going to come to an end. Also, Italian film production made generous use of borrowing whole scenes from other movies. The digital transfer we saw on Tube even grabs footage from a movie made with Casey Kasem ten years after it was shot! By the way, if aliens come to earth for repairs, where do they go? London? New York? Paris? Nope, they go to Sardinia. 

 

As always, we encourage you to subscribe to our podcast. We're on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and you can even listen to us on YouTube!

The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are back with an episode featuring the 1985 space monster thriller "Biohazard." This season, the boys have been pursuing films with the theme "Science in space gone bad." Well, you can't get a lot worse than this, especially when the actual tagline for the movie art in one of the video releases was "Science gone very, very bad." There's a lady who has mind powers of some sort or another, and during poorly conducted experiments by a science guy accidentally imports killer aliens to earth, including one played by the director's five-year-old kid. Arguably, he's the best actor. Don't miss this episode. And don't forget you can catch our podcast on Spotify, TuneIn, Apple Podcasts, and even YouTube. 

Crikey! This week, the boys have gone down under, and I don't mean in the way that got them crossways with the local constable. No, I mean they are reviewing the 2021 Australian production of "Astro Loco." Basically, there's this ship, right, and it's flying to one of Jupiter's moons, and...well, you can hear Tom, Calvin, and Paul discuss hot Russians, traditional effects, and just which movie is being ripped off depending where you are in the movie. The future is so bright, it has to avoid wallaby droppings!

Well, after far too long, Tom, Calvin, and Paul present their latest review, this time for a 1967 German-Italo production, Mission Stardust. This movie is based on the Perry Rhodan series of science fiction novels, so if you are a fan of those, this movie is for you. Actually, if you're an enemy of those, this movie may be for you, because we can't imagine this being a good adaptation of anything. It's got everything you want in a movie...unjustifiable death, evil, levitating jeeps, inter-species sex, space leukemia, secret labs in Mombassa, weird normalization of 20th century colonialism...it's in there! 

Okay, Episode 4 is up, and it's "The Astro Zombies." But didn't you guys (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) do that episode the other day? No, we did one of its apparently many follow-ups. This is the original Ted V. Mikel's classic (?!) from 1968. It's actually not a horrible movie. In fact, I think the boys rather enjoyed it. Does that mean it's good? No, no of course not, but it does have John Carradine, Wendell Corey at his funniest, and the alluring Tura Satana. Nobody has to hold her up this time! Don't miss this fascinating episode, and don't forget to subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and/or our YouTube Channel.

We've got a lot of good stuff coming out soon, so stay tuned. Oh, like our new logo? Tom did it! Well, Tom and AI. I think it's dandy.

That's right, kiddos. If you listened to the last episode, by federal law you have to listen to this one as well, because the boys weren't finished talking about this movie. That's how much was wrong with it. So, enjoy the second volume of our two-parter "Mark of the Astro Zombies." Once again, no one named Mark is in this movie. Weird. 

Also, you can still subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and TuneIn. You can also listen to our episodes now on good ole' YouTube. Just search for "The Turkish Diplomats," or go to https://youtube.com/@theturkishdiplomats-km2nz?si=ZRxfAN0qL2O4KrYm.

Yes, it's the return of the Turkish Diplomats as they take a turn at the 2002 direct-to-dustbin "Mark of the Astro-Zombies." This is a "reimagining" of the director's original film "The Astro Zombies" made in 1968 with some members of the original cast, including himself and Tura Satana. We plan to watch the original next, if for nothing else that it may help burn out the memory of seeing this movie. There's so much wrongness to talk about that we ended up making a Part 2 which we'll post in a few days.

Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, or Spotify. Also, our podcasts are now available on YouTube as well on the Turkish Diplomats channel. 

Well, well, well...The Turkish Diplomats, a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, have begun a second season of Charming Noise! This season, the theme is Space Science Gone Wrong! I know, I too am intrigued, and you'll be intrigued with our first episode based on the 1981 movie, "Inseminoid." This dangerously British movie is sort of like Alien on a BBC budget before they realized Dr. Who might be a hit. Scientists are working in a lab on a distant planet (not that there are any close ones). One of them is attacked by some creature outside the station and impregnated. She then goes coo-coo, and starts killing off her comrades. Things happen quickly, and if you can keep up with all the characters, you should consider getting your own podcast, because it was a challenge for our hosts. 

We are available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, TuneIn, and Spotify, and this season our podcast will also be on YouTube! That's right, the boys have their own channel now.