The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise

Season 2, Episode 3: Mark of the Astro Zombies (Part 2)

That's right, kiddos. If you listened to the last episode, by federal law you have to listen to this one as well, because the boys weren't finished talking about this movie. That's how much was wrong with it. So, enjoy the second volume of our two-parter "Mark of the Astro Zombies." Once again, no one named Mark is in this movie. Weird. 

Also, you can still subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and TuneIn. You can also listen to our episodes now on good ole' YouTube. Just search for "The Turkish Diplomats," or go to https://youtube.com/@theturkishdiplomats-km2nz?si=ZRxfAN0qL2O4KrYm.

Season 2, Episode 2: Mark of the Astro Zombies (Part 1)

Yes, it's the return of the Turkish Diplomats as they take a turn at the 2002 direct-to-dustbin "Mark of the Astro-Zombies." This is a "reimagining" of the director's original film "The Astro Zombies" made in 1968 with some members of the original cast, including himself and Tura Satana. We plan to watch the original next, if for nothing else that it may help burn out the memory of seeing this movie. There's so much wrongness to talk about that we ended up making a Part 2 which we'll post in a few days.

Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, or Spotify. Also, our podcasts are now available on YouTube as well on the Turkish Diplomats channel. 

Season 2, Episode.1: Inseminoid

Well, well, well...The Turkish Diplomats, a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, have begun a second season of Charming Noise! This season, the theme is Space Science Gone Wrong! I know, I too am intrigued, and you'll be intrigued with our first episode based on the 1981 movie, "Inseminoid." This dangerously British movie is sort of like Alien on a BBC budget before they realized Dr. Who might be a hit. Scientists are working in a lab on a distant planet (not that there are any close ones). One of them is attacked by some creature outside the station and impregnated. She then goes coo-coo, and starts killing off her comrades. Things happen quickly, and if you can keep up with all the characters, you should consider getting your own podcast, because it was a challenge for our hosts. 

We are available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, TuneIn, and Spotify, and this season our podcast will also be on YouTube! That's right, the boys have their own channel now. 

Series 1, Episode 11: Bigfoot (Troma)

In the last episode of this season, our intrepid heroes review the 2006 direct to something film "Bigfoot." This movie is a bit of a conundrum, in that we can't find out much about it. It was made by a guy named Bob Gray, and the film is officially a Troma release, though they really had little to do with it, which is probably fine by them. Actually, there's not a lot that makes sense in this movie, but there are some enjoyable scenes. In fact, Old Man Hobson is the real hero of this movie, and has the best scene by far. Jack, the intended hero, is not terribly bright, and the more you hear about him the more you wonder why anyone would listen to him. You can find out about both of them by watching the movie, or you can save your time and listen to the Turkish Diplomats and their fine insight.

Series 1, Episode 10: What Happens in the Mountains, Should Stay in the Mountains Part 2

Okay, this may be a little confusing. The Turkish Diplomats have reviewed a sequel and not the original simply because it's just not easily found. But don't worry, it would have even wasted more of our lives had we seen Part 1. Let's just call it "What Happens" so I don't have to write out this freakin' title again. It is a Bigfoot horror movie in that there is a Bigfoot, and the movie is horrible. Folks, listen to this podcast, which at 35 minutes is a far better waste of your time than this movie. We have plenty to talk about, regardless. I would summarize the plot, but there isn't one. There isn't even a real story arc to mention, but this thing still has multiple shooting locations across three states! Thank god early 2000's Handicams were so portable. At least there's some killin'. 

Season 1, Episode 9: Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper Part 2

Here it is, Part 2 of the Turkish Diplomats trying to work out their childhood traumas via explanation of the film "Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper." Seriously, Tom, Calvin, and Paul could have talked another episode or two about this movie, but at some point one has to move on and embrace the future with hope and dignity. Or, in this case, we probably all needed to go to the bathroom. We tell you what happened to Morgan, we describe the big hunt, we talk about killin', and finally we get to what may be the greatest fight scene in the history of cinema, or at least that we've seen in a Bigfoot movie. What happens with D.B. Cooper? Trust me, it's a plot development we didn't see coming, but we'll tell you in this episode.

Season 1, Episode 8: Bigfoot vs DB Cooper, Part 1

Wow. This movie was so good at being godawful, we couldn't stop talking about it. Join Tom, Calvin, and Paul discuss one for the record books, a film called "Bigfoot vs DB Cooper." We had so much to talk about we had to make two episodes. We could have made more. Many more. This movie's got everything...hijackings, cryptids, hunky boys and their not so hunky friend, narrators, turkey hunting, running, pose-offs, gun safety training, more running, and abs, abs, abs! Hell, we even end this episode with a cliff-hanger. I mean, cliff is hung! Never fear, Part 2 will be posted in just a few days.

In the meantime, you can subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, TuneIn, and Spotify.

Season 1, Episode 7: Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon

Thomas, Calvin, and Paul review, as best they are able to with their limitations, the 2006 movie "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon." This film does what it can to prove that sex scenes and porn stars don't necessarily make a film sexy. In fact, this film may contribute to Erectile Dysfunction, so listen to this episode and find out if you and your friends can take that chance. The movie stars a cast of actors, and also Ron Jeremy. He plays Ranger Rick, maybe. It's a cryptic horror film as well as a sexy film noir for about, oh, eight or nine minutes, then it goes back to that horror film stuff. Anyway, the boys have fun trying to remember what actually happened, and neither will you.

Series 1, Episode 6: The Wild Man of the Navidad

Tom, Calvin, and Paul review a second movie in a row they have to consider a basically good film. What the hell is the world coming to!? This episode, they are checking out 2006's "The Wild Man of the Navidad." It's got mean-ass Texans, an awful character who dies without anyone finding out how horrible he is, a guy who sends people to their deaths but isn't blamed, moonshine, and of course a...well, let's call him "Bigfootish." Annnndd...this movie has direct ties to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!" Please enjoy a review of this movie which may be the most Kafkaesque of all Bigfoot flicks.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot

Yes, that is the name of a movie, and not only that, but a movie the Turkish Diplomats almost feel bad about talking about because it's technically a good movie! Don't worry, the boys have plenty to criticize, starting with the title, but find out what this Sam Elliott (yes, that Sam Elliott) vehicle has to offer. There are plenty of tangents, as always, so no worries they'll actually stay on topic. Did we mention the title? I mean, for the love of all that is holy, that title...